Relationship Tips…

When you are in an abusive relationship, don’t wait for the person to change before you get out. Remember, a leopard does not change its spots. The constant thing in life is change but you see, abusive partner only do that in the short term and by the time you realized that you have been coined into staying, it will be too late to get out of it.

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“When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don’t wait for the second time before you address it or cut them off. Many survivors are used to the “wait and see” tactic which only leaves them vulnerable to a second attack. As your boundaries get stronger, the wait time gets shorter.” ― Shahida Arabi

Trust they say is the foundation of every healthy relationship. You have both got to trust each other for your union to work. You also have to understand that it takes a while to build trust, but a minute to break it. Once it is broken, it cannot be regained completely.

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Pride has no place in a relationship if you both want it to work. An apology should always be at the tip of your tongue even though you are not too sure that you are wrong. We all have our imperfect side; you have both got to accept it of each other.

The boat of a union must rock; it must be tested against all obstacles—–Fights, Jealousy, arguments, faith, tears, and disagreements. The passion or fireworks you feel now does not last forever. These are the reasons your relationship must be strong at the beginning to have a chance of paddling through. You cannot begin a relationship with tolerance and expect to still use the same ‘tolerance’ in time of crisis.

Don’t forget to read my previous blog post

When you think of who you are in a relationship with or married to, it should brighten your face even in your darkest moment. As you remove toxic people from your life, you free up space for positive energy and healthy relationship.

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Career talk…

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Countless people work in a job traumatizing them. There is never a beautiful day for them when it, not a holiday. You dread going to your office but just have to put one foot in front of each other. On Sunday evening, your thought is focused on impending Monday morning. If you find yourself in this situation, it is time to change that job you are in.

You should start by asking yourself these questions: What are you good at? What makes your heart beat faster? What will make you fulfilled in your career?  Plenty of brilliant people started in jobs they hated or took paths that weren’t right at the beginning of their careers. If they answer these questions, they will surely walk happily on the right path.

“Have a dream. Have a passion. Know that there’s no such thing as an overnight success. It comes with enormous hard work, commitment and sacrifice. And know that the only way to be good at something is to love what you do and to put in that leg work. Because in the end, your credibility is built on your experience and on the trust with which others view you.” – Christiane Amanpour, ABC Global Affairs Anchor, CNN Anchor and Chief International Correspondent

Don’t forget to check out my previous career post

A workplace should be home away from home. You should be happy to go every day. Your colleagues should be your friends as the majority of your days are spent with them. Some days might be stressful but you won’t notice it since it if your job is your passion. Do something that you’re good at or at least have the potential to be good at if it gives you a sense of achievement. 

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Life is too short to spend hours in what makes you miserable; live in the moment because you can only see the steps that are ahead of you. You don’t know what is at the end of the road.

Explore your talent…

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As accepted via email

I am John, I grew up in a bustling neighbourhood in Africa. Reading and writing have always been difficult for me that my mom had to enroll me for extra school classes. Still, there wasn’t an improvement on my academics. Whenever I am back from school, I go to the salon owned by my mum. Gradually, I started developing an interest in making hair. My mum tried her best to divert my attention to studying when she noticed my concentration on her work but it didn’t work.       

Within a few months, I had become a professional in hair making and even my mother was impressed. However, she still wanted me in school because she believed so much in education. For me, I hated school as I wasn’t even close to being an average student. Thus, it gave me low self-esteem.

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I stopped school in grade six and I became a full-time worker in my mom’s salon. In a few years, I grew up and became my own boss. I rented a shop and got my own staff. I am proud of myself. Though I am not educated, still am a successful entrepreneur.

Read my prior blog post

 To anyone reading this, education is important-it doesn’t define you nor signify you will be successful. Become the best version of yourself through your commitment to what makes you happy

Not sexually attracted to my hubby

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To respect my friend’s privacy, I will call her Jane…few days ago, my friend called to seek my opinion on what I feel she should do on her situation. To protect her anonymity, I will call her Jane. So let’s discuss…..

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Her name is Jane. She is 40 years old. She is a single mom to a beautiful teenage girl. She stopped believing in sex before marriage because of the situation that led to her being a single mom. In December 2018, she met a divorce with 2 kids. In May 2019, they got married without engaging in pre-marital sex. To her surprise, since her marriage, her husband has never been able to have sex with her no matter the amount of foreplay. They are both medically fit but the sexual attraction is not just there.

Her suppression of sex craving that she thought will come to an end seems not to be the case. She doesn’t want to have extra marital affair. She and her hubby love each other yet can’t seem to get it right.

What do you think Jane should do dear readers? While thinking about that, don’t forget to check my previous post

Once beaten…only if you learn

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As received via email

My name is Aaron…I am 42 years old. About twelve years ago during my undergraduate program, I dated a lady called Sheila. She was my course mate then and I fell madly in love with her, but little did I know that she was double dating. When I caught her cheating on me, she begged me to forgive her. Although it was hard on me, I did because of the deep feelings I felt for her.

After our undergraduate, we went for internship in different state. Sheila uploads guys’ pictures on her status every time and tells me that they are just casual friends. I don’t know why I trusted her knowing well that she had betrayed me before.

Moving towards the end of the internship program, she started avoiding my calls until I had to force us to see only for her to break up with me. It devastated me and I became so depressed that I had to start drinking to escape from my sorrow. I hallucinated about her too much until I reached the peak and it started wearing off gradually. Then, I realized that I hated my life.

I became focus on how to build my career and pour all my passion into it. I am now doing exceedingly well in my career and at 42 years, I am still not letting any lady close to me because I can’t trust again. My age is increasing and I crave my own family.

Photo Credit: The Muse

My readers, what do you think is the best cause of action for him to know that not all women are the same?

Don’t forget to read my previous post

Run-a-way bride

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My name is Laura. I am 35 years old. What will you say if I tell you I have been engaged twice and have still never gotten to the altar? At 27, I ended my first engagement of which the relationship lasted 2 years because my ex-fiance has an uncontrollable anger problem that made him violent. Then, I decided to have a failed relationship rather than a failed marriage.

When I was 30 years, I met another guy showered me with so much love and affections than I have ever hoped for. Unfortunately, he was poorer than a church mouse in which I always end up shouldering his responsibilities as he earns a meager. After 3 years of relationship, he finally proposed. I couldn’t handle the fact that I have to be responsible for the wedding and foresee how I will still be the one catering for the responsibilities of the kids we were both planning for. So I broke it off.
Now I am 35 years and finally found someone I think is perfect for me. The church asks us to produce a medical report as it is one of the requirements for getting married in my province. Only for my fiance to inform me he is an AS genotype of which I am an AS genotype too.
Why have I been unlucky in relationships? Do I quit this one too or take a leap of faith on our future kids?

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What is your thought my peeps? Have you seen my previous post?

My path to SUCCESS

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After my secondary school, the aim is to go to university and work in a big company. But as the case maybe, I could not get admission on time for university. In order not to waste a year at home, I enrolled for college. Even with discrimination between universities and colleges, I didn’t let that undermine my desire to study that year.

After my college program, I attempted getting a job in big organizations but i failed.It led me to a small firm with a token that wasn’t enough to cover my transportation cost. Yet, that didn’t stop me from giving my best as it made me gain support of my bosses, physically and financially.

Sourced: Inspirational

Since I was determined to never settle for less, I continued my education on a part time basis. Fortunately for me, I got another offer from a financial institution that pays more than what I was previously offered .Although, the job was on contract basis,

After Six years, opportunity to be converted to a permanent staff arises. I never stop giving my best at work, this made all the bosses I work with appreciate me and recommended me for the conversion. After rigorous test and interview, I was finally converted. I am still going to be working hard and give my utmost best so as to keep improving.

Like and comment as what you learn from this story. For me, i say “Don’t stop walking even when you stumble”.

Remember to read my previous post

Misplaced PRIORITY?

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Hi all, lets all learn from John’ story received via email

Truly they say life is a tablet that turns round like a circle, my name is John I graduated from a well known state college and of course I had very good grades.
Making a resume myself with so much confidence and expecting positive responses, but to my surprise its more difficult than I expected it to be. I thought “wow! can getting a job be this hard”, considering all the posts of jobs I get in my inbox everyday.

Imagine after going through so much stress in getting a job and finally got one only for me to go into an office relationship. I was so in love that i forgot it isn’t ethical to mix business with pleasure.

After 6 months of working with this company, I was eligible for benefits. Then Lizzy, the lady i was dating and I went on vacation. After we got back to work, i got fired with the reason being that I neglected my duties and I didn’t acknowledge the letter i got which says I have to submit two customers quotation while I was on vacation. My response letter to explain reasons why I couldn’t work on vacation was not approved.

Remember to read about my previouspost

Realization dawned on me when i held the termination letter and it hit me that i had been going about my life in a wrong way. I shouldn’t have focused on a relationship at the expense of my work. Landing my dream job and finding love at the same time made me feel complete as a man and i cant believe it got into my head and it cost me both.
To everyone reading my story, in everything you doing be it work or school please be conscious of distractions.

Like and comment what you learn from this.

Looking for love AFTER marriage

I received this issue via email.

I am a mom of 2 kids and I don’t love my husband he basically does everything for my children and I when it comes to there school fees home upkeep just everything we might need as a family he provides he is a perfect gentle man.
I know people might wonder how come am just saying this now after two kids well I have been trying as much as i can to change my feelings for him but I can’t it’s not working I need help he loves me so much and tries to share everything he has with me but I don’t see him as my husband.

Read about: Loose one,gain a better one

For lovers who have experience such before and have some questions to ask me about our relationship before we got married, let me tell you it was superb. He is a lover guy and I had always looked forward to being his wife but the moment we got married, I couldn’t stand him. I can’t place my hands on what changed about him, all i know is I am just an unhappy wife.

Found this video about unrequited love interesting. Why don’t we all watch and see the effects of love in our lives
I read this book written by Hannah Hickok. It talks about what you can do to fall back in love with your husband. So i will advice you to look into this as it will assist you.

 

Photo Credits: Jody Pogo

Loose one, gain a better one

My name is Mary Ann, 2 years ago, I met Jason Smith at our workplace in Nigeria, and he introduced himself to me and said he had been watching me for a while. Jason told me he liked everything about me and I was convinced. Days after our first date, Jason said he was already married with 2 kids but looking forward to making me his second wife. His honesty attracted me more and in 3 months, I was madly in love with him.

After 6 months of dating, there was no progress in our relationship. He had promised to engage me after three months but there was no hint of something like that happening. Jason comes to my apartment almost every day and I used to cook for him and give him the best sex every time he comes around thinking I was with my proposed fiance. Jason knew the pin to my credit card, instead of him to cater to my needs, I cater to his due to the love I had for him.

When we go on an outing, he talks to me in a nasty manner and treats my daughter that I already had before meeting him like dirt. I used to go with Jason to see my gynecologist because he wanted me to have a child with him. Not knowing he was only pretending until an acquaintance of both of us called to inform me of what Jason told him. “I will continue to go with her to see her gynecologist but she will never have my child” he quoted. But even with these, I still couldn’t let go because of the strong love I felt for him.

After some time, he started doing a lot of things that could make me quit the relationship myself which I didn’t. One day, he called me in front of my friends and said he had impregnated a lady sharing his flat with him. With this, I knew it was over and there wasn’t anything I could do to make him stay. At that time, he owed me some amount of money which he refused to pay me.

After been depressed for about 3 months, I met another guy named Andrew who took a like to me. Due to my previous experience, it became difficult to go into another relationship. But he managed to convince me. Even though I am not fully in love with him yet, we got married after 2 months of meeting each other. Andrew treats me and my daughter right and makes it easy to fall in love with him.

To my surprise, Jason came to wait for me in front of my building 2 weeks after my marriage saying he wants me back and that he still loves me and that he really can’t say what happened to him at that time that made him behave in a wrongful manner. Calling my friends to plead on his behalf…it is too late because I already found someone that knows my worth and a better person who knows how to show a woman love

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